Rumor has it today is Hammock Day, one of my favorite days of the year! The poor hammock is a sadly neglected product deserving of much greater respect. Although they seldom come in plaid, Rodney Dangerfield’s favorite style, hammocks do come in different forms. Some are free standing with either a wooden or metal frame while others attach to trees or other solid structures. Ropes, twine, quilts, canvas, nylon, polyester and all types of woven materials are available for creating the hammock support.
While some may say that the sport of hammock resting is a sport of fools, I say-rubbish! Much thought and planning must be given to the type and location of the hammock one is using. For instance, only a fool in a warm climate would position a hammock immediately beneath a coconut tree, at least without wearing a helmet and other protective gear. Fastening a hammock to animate objects or saplings is also not advised. Positioning your hammock in an area directly exposed to harmful UV rays is not prudent nor is using it while in the eye of a tornado. Learning to drink a beer while lounging in a hammock can also be a tricky skill to avoid suddenly being turned upside down and tossed unmercifully to the unpadded ground. One must practice, practice, practice!
As you can easily see, it takes a modicum of intelligence, great athletic prowess and the bravery of a ninja warrior to enjoy the benefits of a well constructed hammock or risk of great danger could ensue: hence is a sport reserved for the truly adventurous at heart. As a long-time hammock volunteer, scientific experimentation of the proper use of this unappreciated creature comfort continues unabated in my backyard. I will issue a report on the outcome of my dangerous and altruistic study of this tricky sport sometime in the future after I awake from my nap….